The Stinkwater Area Water and Sanitation District (SAWSD) board of directors held its shortest and most productive meeting on Thursday, March 32. The only item on the agenda was a water rate increase.
Director Clinkerstache shocked the audience by proposing that SAWSD water rates be cut by one half, noting that recent decisions and actions made this possible. Director Ray Reno seconded the motion, explaining that Dry Gulch had been leased to a respected entrepreneur for $1 per year, plus 20 percent of gross ticket sales. Local resident, George Westerly asked if this entrepreneur might be the same person who had previously choreographed the purchase of the Dry Gulch property, and how much revenue might be anticipated.
Director Reno responded that previous SAWSD actions were “water over the dam," and commented that the lessee was the Ripley Corporation, which plans to construct an entertainment site, “Dry Gulch, Believe It or Not.”
 Director Bonano, not related to the NYC Bonanos, voiced his support of the motion, noting, “Water losses had been drastically reduced — by turning off the spigot that had delivered water from the Hatcher Treatment Plant directly to the San Juan Waste Treatment Facility.” Staff member Shalilah Petersburger corrected Mr. Bonano, stating that this was not really a loss, but a legitimate internal use. She also stated that upon learning that waste treatment was in arrears on their water bill, she had cut their service.
Director Windsome Chaste asked for the floor and began to speak: “I am concerned that you are eliminating a very efficient ...“ But she was interrupted by former board member Ferdinand Everly, seated in the audience. Jumping up from his bully pulpit, he asked, “Who is I?” He then went on to recount how much more efficient SAWSD operations had been "back in the old days, when we used the same pipe line to deliver drinking water and transfer waste" — not at the same time, of course, he added quickly.
Chairperson Rick Softly gaveled the interrupter, “Out of Ord...” but he too was interrupted, when electronics guru, Jennie Tight, invoked “electricus interruptus.” The motion was approved.
Quoting the chair, “The motion passes, as I can only see one nay vote; my own!” |