HUMOR: How the Pagasaw Saloon Saved Me a Hundred Grand, Part Two
Travis 'Buck' Kingman III | 10/12/12

Read Part One

Officer Rex of the Pagasaw Springs Police Department said I forgot to turn on my headlights. When he got closer to look at my drivin' license, he said I smelt like I’d been a drinkin'.

I assured him I’d put down a few, but I was plenty good for drivin'.

He asked me to step outta the truck... and as I did, the bag with my cash in it fell out onto the alley. Rex picked it up and looked in it and asked what I was doin' with all that scratch. He put the cuffs on me, then called for the drug dog to search my truck.

travis buck kingman pagosa springs colorado

Travis Buck Kingman III.

I’ll be darned if he didn’t find two of my flasks I’d lost under the seat, and they was full of good whiskey.The dog sniffed and slobbered all over my truck but of course it didn’t find no drugs. Rex said they’d have to put the money with the Judge 'til they figgered out fer sure where it came from was legit. I tried telling them 'bout the investment I was makin' with Ferd, but they didn’t believe it... in fact, Rex told me there weren’t anyone left in Pagasaw dumb enough to invest two cents with Ferd Smedberg.

Ferd showed up at my hotel late that night askin' why I didn’t meet him as planned? He got real upset when I said I’d told the police about our deal. He said 'cuz of me he was gonna hafta get the dough from an ole Mexican down at Lumberton. He stormed off into the night, tellin' me that was the last time he was gonna offer to cut me in on a good deal.

Well, it took about five days fer the bank in Muleshoe to confirm it was my money and everything was on the up and up, but by then, I was hearin' all kinda bad things about ole Ferd... some of it told me by Officer Rex as well as Judge Durango. It seems Ferd had borrowed a bunch of money from a former Army Green Beret friend of his, and the money had disappeared when it was due to be paid back. That Army guy was real ticked off and told Ferd he was gonna make his life miserable 'til he paid him back.

Then there was a local doctor that gave him a buncha gold bars to invest in a land deal up by the carwash. Ferd promised the Doc he would triple his money in six months. Apparently that gold vanished and Ferd told the Doc he was robbed by a midget wrestler feller that came into his office when he was workin' late one night. The midget fellar bonked him on the head and Ferd said he had a bad mental condition as a result of that which kept him from 'memberin' any of the details.

Then there was the story bout a local biologist that gave Ferd a buncha money he got from a friend in Germany. Ferd was gonna put it into a Marriott Hotel deal he was workin' on for land up by the ski area. Ferd claimed he had lost that money too. Finally, he found it when the biologist put a loaded Colt 45 to his head, I guess it helped clear up his memory problem.

For me, I was darn lucky. Officer Rex didn’t charge me, just gave me a warnin' since I was able to pass the sobriety test with flying colors. I’ve had plenty of years of trainin', and every now and then it pays off.  Heck, 'cuz I stopped at the Pagasaw Saloon that night for a few snorts, I saved $100,000.  If I hadn’t stopped in there and enjoyed the lie-swappin' so much, I woulda gave Ferd my hundred large... and likely never seen a bean of it again.

Next time I was at the Saloon, I ordered two rounds for the house and tipped Curley a C-note. How often does a fellar save money bein at a saloon?

I surely learned my lesson, though. Ferd Smedberg did get his deal closed with the old rancher, by getting the local water district to buy the ranch, just like he said. They did get the money from the state, and borrowed it real cheap. Still ain’t no Dry Gulp Lake there, though.

It weren’t much after that that Ferd Smedberg disappeared from Pagosa Springs. I don’t know how to get ahold of Hadji over in Vanatu. I do wonder if Ferd is over there, sippin' fancy tropical cocktails with fruit and umbrellas stuck in 'em? I wonder if he hit the million dollar payday he said he was gonna? Wonder if he paid back all themfellars he owed money to?

As it turned out, I put my hundred large into some downtown Pagasaw property over on 6th Street with Pagasaw Source Real Restate and doubled my money in six months. It sure beats the cow-calf bidness!

See ya at the Saloon...


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